Do you ever find yourself wondering, “where did all the fun go?” Days stretch into weeks of the same old thing. Work, home, sleep repeat. With the metronomic pace that life often takes, it is easy to lose perspective of just how good you (or I) may have it. I get mired in internal conversations about what I am lacking and miss out on the little miracles that make life worthwhile and interesting. Bad things happen, and they most certainly deserve attention. A shooting, natural disaster or famine are all worthy causes to adopt, but giving focus solely to the misfortunes in life will make you (and me!) miss out on the fun parts.
Here are 6 reasons why you, me and everything is really going to be okay:
1. All of your problems are probably first world problems.
Okay, the car is broken down, the credit card is overdrawn, you’re not making your house payment this month. Life’s a mess. But, you’re reading this blog. Which indicates you have the means to: 1.) connect to the internet 2.) have an internet ready device. You’ve probably eaten today. Maybe more than once. Did you get to leave your house, walking on both legs? Is there a paycheck in the future, do you have some savings, are there people you can call to help? Not everyone is as lucky as we in the U.S. are. There are war torn countries, famine, and disease that we don’t even have to think about. Allowing the minor snags (and major ones sometimes) to accumulate and leave you immobile takes all the fun out of life. Take care of the issues, but realize that while things may seem hopeless, you are still very blessed to have shelter, food, and the opportunity search out things you like (like surfing the web and reading a blog). Not everyone in the world gets to do that. Keep a little perspective even when things get hairy.
2. What you think about, you create.
No, not in the metaphysical you-manifest-your-world ideology where you think of a Maserati, and *POUF!*, one appears. No. I mean, what you feel like and what you think like you will automatically see more of. Hate littering? You’re going to see trash EVERYWHERE. Abhor white sunglasses? Everyone is going to be wearing them. Feel worthless? People and events are going to reinforce that feeling. Bringing your focus to something automatically makes it more visible. Make peace with your faults, eccentricities and foibles. Let go of the minor irritations and focus on what you do like. Loooove the smell of oranges. *POUF* you’re going to recognize and seek that out every chance you get. When you like and love yourself people will like and love you too. Mostly because when they do send approval your way, it will resonate with the approval within you rather than bouncing back off of the seething misery within. Stop filtering out the positive and only hearing the negative. Strive to vibe with what makes you happy.
3. The time is now.
It’s not 3:00, or 20 years later. It’s now. It’s always now and it will always be now. THIS is it. If you spend half your time feeling guilty about the past and half of your time feeling anxious about the future, there is none of you left to actually exist now. If you’re waiting for that perfect moment. Stop. This is it. If you’re feeling guilty, sad, mournful, upset or angry about the past. Stop. It’s over. No really, it’s done. Living with no thought for what you’re doing and feeling right now isn’t living. It’s being caught in between time frames, paralyzed by inaction. Take just a moment to meditate, ponder a flower, read a book, or eat an orange with no thought about anything else. Just be and enjoy one moment. Then expand it to just being as much as you can. Try enjoying a chore you usually hate. When you can do that, then grow it until you can just be in this moment always. Enjoy right now, it’s the only thing that really exists.
4. Take advantage of the resources you do have.
There are tons of things that I don’t own or can’t do. Things don’t always go my way. I don’t have any “i” products. I am not a member of country club. I don’t travel abroad. But what I can do and do have are the things that I focus on to bring me joy. I may be broke beyond belief, but I do have some art supplies and could paint for an afternoon. I may not have a friend to go somewhere with, but I can surf the web or read a book. If I were to only focus on what I don’t have at the expense of what what I do have, eventually all I will see and have is nothing (see #2).
I have personally experienced two incidents of mentally/physically handicapped people wheeling themselves down the sidewalk having the time of their lives. Why? Because they were in the moment (see #3), experiencing what they did have, without any thought about what they were lacking. They were tapping into true joy.
5. Evaluate what is really getting you down.
Okay, sometimes all this acceptance and living in the now seems like anyone can do anything do you at anytime and you’re supposed to sit there like the Buddha and take it. Like it’s supposed to grow and deepen your Zen-like calm. That’s just silly. You can choose to understand when someone trespasses your boundaries and forgive them, or you can confront them and change your situation. Don’t stay in an awful situation because it is the safe situation. Co-workers, bosses, “friends,” and relatives occasionally make your life miserable in an attempt to bring themselves sunshine. How lowering you brightens them, I don’t understand, but don’t let someone tell you you’re not worthwhile. Sometimes things are just bad and you have to get away from them for your overall well-being. Do it. I can’t guarantee that the results will bring you joy, financial independence, or a dream-like situation, but it will definitely put you farther away from what’s hurting you.
6. Reach Out!
And remember, this is just my experience. I am not a mental health worker. I am one person, with one set of beliefs and thoughts. If you feel lost, extremely unhappy or alone, call a professional for help. It may be embarrassing, difficult or uncomfortable at first, but we all need a helping hand at some point. Don’t carry your burden alone.
Samantha Manning, LMT – Provider of Quality Massage Therapy, including: Hot Stone Massage, Swedish Massage, Deep Tissue Massage, Myofascial Release, Prenatal Massage, Hot Stone Massage and more!
Have you never stretched before, or have you hurt yourself in the past? Stretching can be controversial, but is a necessary addition to any physical fitness regime. Without the addition of elongation of muscular and connective tissues, the body becomes stuck, stiff and immobile. But, with the right techniques you can unlock the body and release tension with a few simple techniques.
